you carried me with you,
you created a monster,
you gave birth to a girl,
whose mind is an impostor.
not what you had in mind
when you wanted a baby;
you spent half your life
trying to save me.
I know you tried to do
everything you possibly could,
you always tried to love me
the way a mother should.
I was born broken
in sickness and in trauma
but its not your fault
I never really had a father.
I can only promise to forgive
but I’m sorry I can’t forget,
that you spent half your life
living in regret.
your hurt and hatred
passed onto another generation
such tragic magnetic chaos
from an awful situation
I can’t thank you enough
for everything you have done
I’m sorry I can’t be something better
but whats done is done.
even when I’m mad
or when I think I hate you,
you are still my mother
I can’t do anything but love you.
I could shout a thousand apologies
I could stand naked in the rain
but that wont make up for anything
or any of this pain.
I am a part of you
you are a part of me
we carry the same pain
the same burden, unfortunately.
I can’t think of the right words
to tell you how much I love you,
or to explain how I would break down
when the day comes I should lose you.
I can only try to appreciate
the little things you do
this is an ode to my mother
I love you.
