I say fuck the lemons, just give me the tequila! (totally irrelevant and ironic)
It’s safe to say this year for me so far has not been the greatest… Let me break it down for you…
- I ended up in hospital after drinking a litre bottle of Famous Grouse and attempting suicide for the 4th? time.
- I was then admitted into a psych ward (a Spanish one I might add) for 48 hours due to the continued self deprecating suicidal thoughts… (Stay tuned for a special blog on this one)
- My boyfriend then broke up with me and fucked off back to Manchester the selfish little prick, so yes, another relationship bites the fucking dust… yes it was a “new” relationship but one I had yet again invested myself in all the same.
- I had to start therapy again, and after a good year or so without it, anyone who has been there will know it feels like taking ten steps back and it fucking sucks.
- I lost a couple of clients with my little “cleaning business” but then I guess I did gain a couple too, so maybe this one doesn’t count?
- I was also in the process of trying to find a housemate to share with me where I currently live so I didn’t have to stress too much about the cost of rent and bills all by myself… I found someone, a great guy actually, who unfortunately pulled out last minute as he got onto a personal training course back in the UK. Something which I SELFLESSLY told him to pursue but as it transpires, it’s s course you can basically do from anywhere in the world (anyway, minor details)… regardless… you wanna know how I know you can do it from anywhere in the world? I did my own research for my own benefit because it is something I have always been interested in . Going to the gym really helped me overcome addiction and gave me coping mechanisms that helped with my depression and anxiety.
Anyway, Long story short…. I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason.
Why did I meet this guy, this “potential housemate”? Why did he talk about personal training etc that INSPIRED me to push myself and pursue my own fucking dreams of becoming a personal trainer myself?
Firstly I wouldn’t have met him had I not been in Spain, not looking for a housemate and almost certainly if I had still been with my boyfriend.
At the time the pain of another heartache was all too much to bear but now, in hindsight and what a beautiful thing it is, has showed me that it ALL HAPPENED FOR A REASON. I have been through all this shit to find my path again.
I lost my way. Again. Had my heart broken, Again. But this wasn’t all for nothing I guess, because now I feel like I see my own future again. Me myself and I.
Life teaches you a lesson and you hopefully learn from it and move on.
Well fingers crossed, this time next year I could be running my own fitness studio, or as I pointed out to my parents earlier, this qualification combined with my university degree in creative writing…. I could end up writing for a magazine such as women’s health.
I think everything does happen for a reason?
And you know what? Fuck the lemons, give me that shot of tequila any day.